Posted
November 1, 2013
”I
should read more books.”
“I
should keep my room neater.”
“I
should do sit-ups while I watch TV.”
“I
should be a doctor.”
“I
should study math harder.”
“I
should eat healthier food.”
Today
we are urged to give up the word “should”—at least for the day.
That word, especially if it isn't tied to action, can keep us
down-in-the-dumps about ourself or our lives.
The
family therapist who invented the day said that “people generally live more calm and fulfilled lives if they give up the word“should.”
Don't
tell yourself you “should” exercise—do it! Find a way to get
exercise that you really enjoy and look forward to. Ditto for eating
healthy foods—look for something healthy that really appeals to
you, like a juicy piece of fruit, rather than gnawing through some
“health-food” bar you don't enjoy. When it comes to exercise and
nutrition and keeping healthy, action really is way more important
than words. Find the things you love that are healthy. Do them. Do
them because you love them AND you love being healthy.
As
to all of those other shoulds I list above, reading, keeping your
room/house/ neat, studying, planning a career—all of these things
are wonderful things. Read the stuff you love to read—and try
reading new stuff, because maybe there are all sorts of other
wonderful thing you would love reading just waiting out there. Study
things that make your heart sing, and explore lots of “subjects”
and ideas, because your heart might be waiting to play an entire
symphony! Think about what's worth doing, and how your particular
passions might lead you to your calling. (A calling is something you
feel a strong urge to do. It's a career or way of life or vocation.)
Explore your own gifts to see how you can contribute to the world.
One
thing about the word “should”: it's often what other
people
think you should be doing, right? We live in groups—in families,
communities, organizations, nations—so we definitely have to do our
share of the not-so-fun work of being alive. We have to work together
at times and compromise at times. For sure.
However,
there are a lot of times when you can be your own master. You decide
what you think about, what you dream about, what you want to do with
much of your time, who you want to spend time with, how you want to
react to things that happen to you. And other people's “shoulds”
can get in the way of you becoming your most authentic self!
Here are some more not-so-great things about the word "should":
- It can keep us focused on the future rather than on right now. But if we never enjoy now, we miss out on life (which is just a series of "right now" moments, right?)...
- It can keep us focused on some unobtainable perfect ideal. The perfect person might be rich and accomplished, even tempered and healthy, with lots of good habits and no bad ones. In this society, the perfect person would have straight white teeth and little body fat; she or he would get straight As in school and a progression of raises and praises at work. And we should be that, we should work for all of that, we should, we should, we should... Working for perfection can cause people to put a lot of pressure on themselves.
Also
on this date:
Plan
Ahead:
Check out my Pinterest boards for:
And
here are my Pinterest boards for:
I like to replace "should" with things like "want to" or "love to" Such as, I WANT to go to the gym, I LOVE to eat healthy, I LOVE to keep my house clean. This simple mindset change works wonders!
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